Ablesplaining!

I’ve been struggling recently to find a more nuanced language to describe different aspects of ‘disability’ more accurately. We tend, I think, to use very few words to describe what is different: impairment, difficulty, allies, people in receipt of a certain type of oppression, a discrimination with a specific character and the negative outcomes of systemic inequality for a named group. The way I see it disablism, or ableism, is a distinct form of discrimination. Therefore, the prejudice is it creates is different too - no better or worse than others - but it has a unique character of its own. It's this understanding, the characteristics of the prejudice, I wish I could articulate this more clearly in conversation. Because talking about one’s impairment, or having a discussion about the right to support, are two completely different conversations. If we had more words, each with specific meaning, we could address the different perspectives of ablism more clearly.  We may also become better allies. In a similar way that I can make a choice to be anti-sexist in my daily activity by being a Feminist. But there's no word for anti-ableist ...   yet!  (although I have explored the activist role before and Chapman, 2013)

I love it when a new word gains currency. And yes! You’ve probably heard of mansplaining. I didn’t take the word to seriously at first. It felt a little clunky and too radical. But I’ve changed my mind, because over the last few months I’ve noticed examples in growing number. ‘Red car syndrome’: you buy a red car and suddenly they are everywhere!!!   The word is defined by the the Miriam-Webster dictionary the definition is:

Mansplaining is, at its core, a very specific thing. It's what occurs when a man talks condescendingly to someone (especially a woman) about something he has incomplete knowledge of, with the mistaken assumption that he knows more about it than the person he's talking to does.

I'm listening to a guy mansplain economics to his wife.

Apparently you can't sell a second-hand car for as much as a new one. So glad he mansplained that to me.

I've noticed that since I have known the word, I have been more able to use it to describe a distinctive prejudice with a specific behaviour. Bias happens when our language betrays our beliefs before our minds can catch up. When the stereotypes we hold about others escape before we can think more respectfully about how to phrase our thinking.

Having a word that eloquently describes the type of comments that ride roughshod over someone’s ability to think makes it easier to highlight bias. I would like to think that most comments delivered with sexist intent are not meant. However, they do hurt, and are all too often belittling, oppressive or disempowering (Gladwell, 2008).

Soooo ablesplaining!?! Well, similarity, it’s the comments people make to disabled individuals without thought. Typically, they sound inoffensive, but they hold assumptions we haven’t fully thought through – or had a chance to contradict. They often imply that disabled people have less, if any, experience or expertise. [I say we, because disabled people do it to.]  The unacknowledged feeling of superiority comes from being more able.  Examples include:

·      Have you tried going to bed early?

·      You should drink camomile tea!

·      You must feel proud about [the little] you’ve done.

·      If I were you I wouldn't take on so much!

·      Why don't you...

You could argue these are kind and caring statements.  However, underneath the good intent lurks a belief that:

We’ve not managed our condition for years - infantilisation. Stereotype: disabled people are children or have a 'mental' age [sic].

We've not read, talked about, and thought about our experience or gained knowledge relating to our what matters to us. For example, reading lots on how to deal with what causes huge pain and on-going suffering. Stereotype: disabled people are stupid and need [medical] care.

We are not capable of great successes, sometimes greater than our peers given the extra myriad of barriers we overcome. Stereotype: There's a single scale for achievement so disabled people can't reach the excellence end of it.

We are expected to be a bit crap! Stereotype: disabled people are less capable and more generally a bit worthless - see media coverage.

We have hours to fill in our empty lives. Stereotype: incapable of real work we have time to use up while on benefits.

As ever, people that think hard and challenge disablist assumptions, don't often offend. We now acknowledge that this type of bias is unconscious. But I have lost count of the times I have been told how to live my life, run my business, or deal with my conditions. Which given my age, I've had plenty of time to reflect on. I'm always struck how quickly some people launch into giving me advice on things they've comparatively little experience of themselves.