Different perspectives on allyship

Recently I have written 5 blogs on allyship, in an effort to articulate, if not define its meaning. I have read a lot, as I understand that I’m possibly not the first to think about this stuff. As ever I’ve explored the work of writers who face marginalisation, trying to side-step those speaking from a position of privilege. As I’ve learned, trying to please people that do not challenge their own privilege is part of the harm. As they not only fail as allies, but tend to hold those marginalised responsible for their own fragility. My responsibility is not to make it easy, because organisational and institutional injustice is huge. My choice is to support learning, in a dialogue that articulates harmful ideas, in order to challenge them.

Allies 1. A town called allies, describes my relationship with my sister. I rarely talk/write of private stuff, so a break from convention as I wished to introduce you to a wonderful woman. On a personal level she has reminded me for years where the problem is, shifting focus from individual to society.

Allies 2. Hello, is it me you’re looking for, is the story of my friendship with Jenny. She remains a powerful and awesome ally. I’m glad we both had the sisters we did, without them we’d have struggled to be the allies we are. Friends play such a critical role in securing a sense of hope, an optimism that good things happen, because they already have.

Allies 3.  I'll always save a room for you!  Professional wisdom is a beautiful thing, especially when applied to working practice and workplace relationships. While not forgetting that identity and activism is hugely important, as they are the first step in acknowledging personal experience, the fight against injustice is also important. Therefore, an outward looking stance, on that faces different oppressions, frees us up to stand beside, not above or in front of, those most disadvantaged by them.  I stand against marginalisation, not because of my experience, but because denying alternative views adds insult to the experience of discrimination and inequality.

Allies 4. Neighbours! In an age of consumerism, there’s a tendency to forget the relationships that are neither familial nor professional. Yet, there is nothing worse than feeling unsafe on the street. From parks, to clubs and churches, the spaces we share are priceless for our well-being. Therefore, being a community ally, is making sure space is not only safe, but absence is noticed.  "You were not there, where were you?"  

Allies 5.  My do-do list, an attempt to respond to the comment "what can I say?!” There’s a tendency for allies to self-promote I feel. However, it’s a slippery path, because what qualifies the role? I often feel pressured into agreeing with people that have declared their allyship, yet seem to not have any understanding of the characteristic oppression I face. If in our relationships as family, friend, colleague, neighbour fail to address what harms the disabled population they are no ally of mine. 

Rather than try to identify which role gives us power, it may be that deciding where to lend our strength is far more critical. I can voice my anger against racism, classism, sexism, homophobia, religious intolerance, to protect family and identity choice, without rejecting any personal experience. However I need to understand what people face to stand against it. I can’t agree without understanding!  

My allyship as sister, friend, colleague and neighbour is in the action I take to minimise  the harm that heads their way. Only they can decide if I’m addressing their interests, or that I’ve acted to make our shared space safer. I can’t call myself an ally, but others may call on it, and hopefully rely on it.