In The Car

I’ve rebooted this post with the learning of the past few years, as it sits well in the conversations I’m having about allyship currently.

Among the many jobs of the past two weeks are two pieces of writing that challenged my thinking. The first was about the impact of a consumerism ideology on governance - in education more specifically. The second was about dimensions of privilege, and the questions that some people may never need to ask. The latter was an academic paper so I thought I'd summarise it, in a more accessible way, in order to gain a little fluency in this area.

May I introduce you to a saying of mine: the in-the-car! Like my blog A 'quick and dirty' job! It has become a stock phrase in our house.  I love the phrase, there's a gesture that accompanies it, as both hands draw the shape of a box in the air. For a good few years now I've used it in conversation to indicate the confidential nature of something I'm about to share. Sometimes funny, rude or somewhat risqué, I'm indicating that I'm asking for privacy. A little discretion, possibly a moment of intimacy, to share a private thought. However, in a more professional context, I'm indicating that we're entering the territory of a private conversation - I trust that what's being discussed will not be broadcast publicly. Needless say 'in-the-car' catches on quite quickly, people seem very keen to share the shorthand!

There is a serious point to be made here, and that is that some conversations are tricky. If we're not entirely confident of our position, unaware of the facts or figures, or thinking about circumstances outside our personal experience then it's highly probable that what we say might not sound eloquent or composed! Not unfamiliar with talking rubbish, this isn't that either! Sometimes we need to talk out-loud (or write a rough post), asking for understanding of others, while we make sense of difficult ideas. I am always touched when people trust me enough with what they are trying to think through - however it comes out! There's a vulnerability in exposing our rough edges, difficult thinking and our insecurities. It's brave to share our challenges! I get a rush of affection towards those trying hard to be honest, as written by Brené Brown in Daring Greatly The following could be described as an in-the-car conversation, as I'm struggling to make sense of the ideas I’m about to share. 

The ideas I am trying to make sense of are on the topic of privilege. Rather describing the privilege of non-disabled people as questions that disabled people rarely get by without thinking daily. More recently I was struck by End the awkward: avoid assumptions and the different reactions to it. 

My experience of privilege is in a genuine surprise by some assumptions I have encountered. I’m often struck by the following:

- some people rarely question their entitlement to education 

- some people rarely question the possibility of a relationship

- some people rarely talk of never getting a job, they see work as possible even if they have no choice in what it might be

- some people rarely questioned whether they can or will have children

- some people take marriage as a given

- some people have no fear of finding a house they could live in or their friends could visit

Rarely a day goes by when I don’t ask questions regarding getting to, getting in, or participating with any sense of ease.

It's not an extensive list, and it is a little skewed to my sensitivities. Equally, I'm sure most of us have worried about these issues to some extent, particularly when faced with a personal crisis such as leaving a job, losing a friend, moving house or ending a relationships. However, I'm always stuck by the confidence many have in assuming a probability for some of the very things I have never taken for granted. It's the on-going nature of facing ableism, compared to passing moments of awareness, that strikes me as the privilege. Not about identity so much as the dailyness of "who’s going to have a problem with me today?" or "who’s going to assume they’re the typical to my abnormal " 

I hasten to add that I feel similarly privileged: I never question the colour of my skin, or my choice of partner. The fact that I used to move around the planet with such ease was gin no doubt due to a hugely privileged position. However, if people are not limited by their abilities, but their shyness or fear, then the critical questions we pose ourselves shape the gilded cages in which we sit. 

Talking about the things other people may fear, by articulating our privilege, may help us balance our own perspectives. In other words, acknowledging my privilege stops me sitting in a victim position without having to deny the victimisation I’ve received either. Could I become a greater ally to others, and by understanding my privilege, rather than denying its power or justifying it as earned? I did nothing to earn a life free of racism, however it would be oppressive to deny that I do not contribute to it. My own in-the-car conversation might involve finding a way of articulating a strong expression of a 'world black majority'?

This partially helps us deal with the difficult  issue of not speaking on behalf of others – but still expressing the oppression they face as one we may benefit from. As being an advocate can become oppressive if care isn't taken to articulate the position of privilege inherent in the role.  As someone without a learning difficulty, for example I'm keen to articulate a position of privilege. I have benefited from a system that values one type of intelligence over others! Expressed thus I hope i have followed People First’s  leadership, and used my knowledge with power without abusing my position.